-31-
G: What are you doing this weekend?
H: I’m going away.
G: Oh, where are you going?
H: I’m going to London.
G: How long for?
H: Just for two days.
I: Have you got a car?
J: Yes, I have.
I: What kind is it?
J: It’s a V.W.
I: Do you like it?
J: Yes, I do.
I: Why?
J: Because it’s very economical.
K: Excuse me…
L: Yes?
K: Have you got any change?
L: What do you need?
K: I need some tens.
L: Oh, how many do you want?
K: Well, can you change a pound note?
L: Yes, I think so.
M: Good afternoon.
N: Good afternoon.
M: Could you repair these shoes, please?
N: Yes, certainly. When do you want them?
M: As soon as possible.
N: Is Thursday afternoon O.K?
M: Yes, that’s fine.
***
-32-
Robin Knight, the television reporter, is interviewing the Duchess of Wessex for the programme “The English At Home”.
Robin: Now, Duchess… tell us about an ordinary day in your life.
Duchess: Well, I wake up at seven o’clock…
Robin: Really? Do you get up then?
Duchess: No, of course I don’t get up at that time. I have breakfast in bed and I read “The Times”.
Robin: What time do you get up?
Duchess: I get up at ten.
Robin: What do you do then?
Duchess: I read my letters and dictate the replies to my secretary.
Robin: …and then?
Duchess: At eleven I walk in the garden with Philip.
Robin: Oh? Who’s Philip?
Duchess: Philip’s my dog.
Robin: What time do you have lunch?
Duchess: I have lunch at twelve thirty.
Robin: And after lunch?
Duchess: Oh, I rest until six o’clock.
Robin: … and at six? What do you do at six?
Duchess: I dress for dinner. We have dinner at eight o’clock.
Robin: What time do you go to bed?
Duchess: Well, I have a bath at nine thirty, and I go to bed at ten.
Robin: Thank you, Duchess… you certainly have a busy and interesting life!
***
-33-
1 Alan’s a lorry driver.
2 He’s twenty-five years old.
3 He works five days a week.
4 He gets up at six o’clock every day.
5 He eats an enormous breakfast.
6 He drinks two cups of tea.
7 Then he kisses his wife.
8 He leaves for work at half past six.
9 He has lunch in a transport café.
10 He comes home at five o’clock.
11 In the evening he goes to the pub.
12 He goes to bed at ten o’clock.
***
-34-
Chairman:Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen.
Welcome to What’s My Job? Here’s our first competitor. We’ve got three famous people here — Professor Moore, the scientist — Jessica Gale, the film star — and Ken Carson, the pop singer. They are going to ask the questions. First, Professor Moore…
Professor: Hmm… Do you work outside?
Competitor: No, I don’t.
Professor: Do you wear a uniform?
Competitor: No, I don’t.
Professor: I see. Do you work in an office?
Competitor: No, I don’t.
Chairman: Next… Jessica Gale.
Jessica: Oh… Is your job important?
Competitor: Yes, it is.
Jessica: Do you get a big salary?
Competitor: Yes, I do.
Jessica: Have you got any special diplomas?
Competitor: Yes, I have.
Chairman: Thank you, Jessica… and now Ken Carson.
Ken: Hello. Do you work with your hands?
Competitor: Yes, I do.
Ken: Do you work at weekends?
Competitor: No, I don’t.
Ken: Do you travel?
Competitor: No, I don’t.
Chairman: That’s the ninth question! Now you can ask one last question.
Jessica: Ha… Are you a doctor?
Competitor: No, I’m not… I’m a dentist.
***
-35-
Vicar: Ah, good evening, Mr. Benson. I never see you in church nowadays.
Benson: Oh! No, Vicar… but my wife always goes to church… she goes every Sunday.
Vicar: I know… but you never come.
Benson: Well, I sometimes come, Vicar. I come on Christmas Day and at Easter.
Vicar: Hmm… But what about Sundays, Mr. Benson?
Benson: I usually wash my car on Sunday morning.
Vicar: I see. Why don’t you wash your car on Saturday next week, Mr. Benson?
Benson: Oh… I can’t do that, Vicar.
Vicar: Why not?
Benson: It’s my son’s wedding next Saturday… I’m going to church!
***
