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Mrs Colt Hello… Elmer?… Is that you?
Elmer Yes, Momma.
Mrs Colt Where are you now, Elmer?
Elmer I’ve just arrived in Prague, Momma.
Mrs Colt You haven’t sent me any postcards yet.
Elmer Yes, I have… I’ve sent one from every city.
Mrs Colt Have you been to Paris yet, Elmer?
Elmer Yes, I have.
Mrs Colt Have you been to Vienna yet?
Elmer No, I haven’t. We’re going to Vienna tomorrow.
Mrs Colt Elmer! Are you still there?
Elmer Yes, Momma.
Mrs Colt How many countries have you seen now, Elmer?
Elmer Well, this is the eighth day, so I’ve already seen eight countries.
Mrs Colt Have you spend much money, Elmer?
Elmer Yes, Momma, I’ve bought a lot of souvenirs… and I want to buy some more. Can you send me a thousand dollars?
Mrs Colt All right, Elmer.
Mrs Colt Elmer, are you listening to me?
Elmer Yes, Momma.
Mrs Colt Have you taken many photographs, Elmer?
Elmer Yes, Momma, I’ve taken a lot. I’ve used three rolls of film.
Mrs Colt Have you met any nice girl yet, Elmer?
Elmer Oh, yes, Momma… there’s a girl from Taxes on the tour. We’ve done everything together.
Mrs Colt Elmer! Elmer! Are you still there, Elmer?
***
-67-
A Have you ever studied a language before?
B Yes, I have.
A Oh, which one did you study?
B I studied French at school.
C Have you ever been to a wedding?
D Yes, I have.
C Whose wedding was it?
D It was my brother’s.
E Have you ever seen a fire?
F Oh, yes, I have.
E When did you see it?
F I saw one in Manchester in 1976.
G Have you ever drunk too much?
H Yes… I have.
G Where did you drink too much?
H I drank too much at my brother’s wedding.
I Have you ever eaten at the Royal Hotel?
J Yes, I have.
I When did you eat there?
J Mary and I ate there two months ago.
K Have you ever had flu?
L Yes, I have.
K When did you have it?
L I had it last winter.
M Have you ever broken a bone?
N Yes, I have.
M What did you break ?
N I broke my leg.
***
-69-
Jerry Floyd is talking to his grandfather about his new job:
“It’s terrible, granddad. I have to get up at seven o’clock because I have to catch the bus to work. Because I’m new, I have to make the tea. I have to work hard… I’m only happy at the weekends: I don’t have to work then.”
His grandfather isn’t very sympathetic:
“I had to start work when I was 14. I lived in South Wales, and there wasn’t much work. I had to be a coal miner. We had to work twelve hours a day. We didn’t have to work on Sundays… but we had to work the other six days of the week.
“When I was eighteen, the First World War started. I joined the army. I had to wear a uniform, and I had to go to France. A lot of my friends died. We had to obey the officers, and we had to kill people.
“When I was sixty, I had to go into hospital because of the dust from the mines. It was the only quiet time in my life… I didn’t have to work, I didn’t have to earn money.
“I retired when I was sixty-five. Nowadays I don’t work and I don’t have to get up early. But I have to live on my pension, and life is still difficult. I don’t feel sorry for you.”
***
