(Scene: An interview room.)

Interviewer (John Cleese): You know I really enjoy interviewing applicants for this management training course. (knock at door) Come in. (Stig enters) Ah. Come and sit down.

Stig (Graham Chapman): Thank you. (he sits)

Interviewer: (stares at him and starts writing) Would you mind just standing up again for one moment. (stands up) Take a seat.

Stig: I'm sorry.

Interviewer: Take a seat. (Stig does so) Ah! (writes again) Good morning.

Stig: Good morning.

Interviewer: Good morning.

Stig: Good morning.

Interviewer: (writes) Tell me why did you say 'good morning' when you know perfectly well that it's afternoon?

Stig: Well, well, you said 'good morning'. Ha, ha.

Interviewer: (shakes head) Good afternoon.

Stig: Ah, good afternoon.

Interviewer: Oh dear. (writes again) Good evening.

Stig: Goodbye?

Interviewer: Ha, ha. No. (rings small hand-bell) Aren't you going to ask me why I rang the bell? (rings bell again)

Stig: Er why did you ring the bell?

Interviewer: Why do you think I rang the bell? (shouts) Five, four, three, two, one, zero!

Stig: Well, I, I...

Interviewer: Too late! (singing and ringing bell) Goodnight, ding-ding-ding-ding-ding. Goodnight. Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding.

Stig: Um. Oh this is, is the interview for the management training course is it?

Interviewer: (Rings bell) Yes. Yes it is. Goodnight. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

Stig: Oh dear, I don't think I'm doing very well.

Interviewer: Why do you say that?

Stig: Well I don't know.

Interviewer: Do you say it because you didn't know?

Stig: Well. I, I, I, I don't know.

Interviewer: Five, four, three, two, one, zero! Right! (makes face and strange noise,)

Stig: I'm sorry, I'm confused.

Interviewer: Well why do you think I did that then?

Stig: Well I don't know.

Interviewer: Aren't you curious?

Stig: Well yes.

Interviewer: Well, why didn't you ask me?

Stig: Well...I...er...

Interviewer: Name?

Stig: What?

Interviewer: Your name man, your name!

Stig: Um, er David.

Interviewer: David. Sure?

Stig: Oh yes.

Interviewer: (writing) David Shaw.

Stig: No, no Thomas.

Interviewer: Thomas Shaw?

Stig: No, no, David Thomas.

Interviewer: (long look, rings bell) Goodnight. Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding- ding-ding-ding. Goodnight. Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding.

Stig: Oh dear we're back to that again. I don't know what to do when you do that.

Interviewer: Well do something. Goodnight. Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding, five, four, three, two, one . . .(Stig pulls face and makes noise) Good!

Stig: Good?

Interviewer: Very good - do it again. (Stig pulls face and makes noise) Very good indeed, quite outstanding. Ah right. (calls through door) Ready now. (four people come in and line up by desk) Right, once more. (rings bell) Goodnight, ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding.

(Stig very cautiously pulls face and makes noise. Interviewer rings bell again. Suddenly the four men all hold up points cards like diving or skating judges.)

Stig: What's going on? What's going on?

Interviewer: You got very good marks.

Stig: (hysterically) Well I don't care, I want to know what's going on! I think you're deliberately trying to humiliate people, and I'm going straight out of here and I'm going to tell the police exactly what you do to people and I'm going to make bloody sure that you never do this again. There, what do you think of that? What do you think of that?

(The judges give him very high marks.)

Interviewer: Very good marks.

Stig: Oh, oh well, do I get the job?

Interviewer: Er, well, I'm afraid not. I'm afraid all the vacancies were filled several weeks ago.

(They fall about laughing.)

(Cut to man sitting at desk.)

Career Advisor (Michael Palin: Well that was all good fun, and we all had a jolly good laugh, but I would like to assure you that you'd never be treated like that if you had an interview here at the Careers Advisory Board. Perhaps I should introduce myself. I am the Head of the Careers Advisory Board. I wanted to be a doctor, but there we are, I'm Head of the Careers Advisory Board. (emotionally) Or a sculptor, something artistic, or an engineer, with all those dams, but there we are, it's no use crying over split milk, the facts are there and that's that. I'm the Head of this lousy Board. (he weeps, then recovers) Never mind, now I wonder if you've ever considered what a very profitable line of work this man is in.

(Cut to front door of a flat. Man walks up to the door and rings bell. He is dressed smartly.)

A teljes sorozat hanganyaga (feliratozva) itt található folyamatos lejátszással:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLgNmqz5NX-HUsb1MvtFGpuG4P6PGJuvKz

A sorozathoz tartozó könyv itt olvasható, görgethető könyv formátumban:

https://www.slideshare.net/ssiliveri/speak-english-like-an-american-book-audio-cd-set?related=5

-4-

- Job: stuntman. Age 20. 20? No. 30, more mature. Age, 30.
- Ow-ow!!
- Where’s the fire …
- It’s the smoke detector!
- I know that! Where’s the broom?! Oh good, it’s stopped.
- I think this was the problem. Anyone for very hard boiled eggs?
- Nick.
- Eh?
- Are they your eggs?
- Eh?
- I thought so! What on earth are you doing? Are you crazy?!
- Oh, are my eggs ready?
- Oh, your eggs, Hector.
- Hector’s eggs, Bridget. Is he cr-azy?!
- Hector. The eggs are, erm, ruined. Perhaps some cornflakes instead?
- Thank you, Bridget.
- Huh, perhaps some cornflakes instead?!
- What are you doing on our computer anyway?
- Nothing!
- Let’s just say girls, one day you will say ‘Brad Pitt – urgh!! Pah!! Johnny Depp – urgh!! Pah!! Nick from next door – vroom-vroom-vroom!! The coolest stunt man in the world!
- Oh, you a stunt man!!
- Yep. I got the job on the Internet. Well, nearly. I’m waiting for confirmation.
- Oh, how exciting!
- The coolest stunt man n the world - on a moped, right?
- On a Harley-Davidson, actually.

- Films! Those stars! That money! Oh! Oh! Have you seen Carina’s dress in the magazine? I’d love to have a dress like that.
- Mmm, me too. It would really suit me.
- How much is it?
- Oh, let’s see. Erm …
- How much?
- Oh, I’m a student, it’s too expensive for me!
- I’ve got a job and it’s too expensive for me! We need more money.
- Money? Bridget, Annie, I have something to tell you.
- Hector, don’t! It’s a secret! --- The Romero family, one of the richest families in Argentina. Keep it a secret. Sssh.
- Uh?
- Sssh!
- What’s a secret?
- You have been very kind.
- Yes, Hector.
- Ha-ha, ha-ha! I’m sure Bridget and Annie have a little money! Ha-ha!
- Sssh! Nick!!
- So I want to, I want to give you some money.
- Yes!
- So, I am going – to look for a job.
- Oh … that’s  a great idea, Hector.
- Gr-eat!!
- Yeah, we can look for a job on the Internet, can’t we.

- OK, here we are, job vacancies.

- Well, let’s see.
- Oh well, there’s a job in a launderette.
- Hector!
- No!.
- And there’s a job as a gardener.
- My plant!
- No!
- And here’s a job as a cook.
- No.
- Wait a minute! Look at this. A waiter!
- What a great idea!
- Yes! Ooh, I love good looking waiters!
- Did you say ‘good looking’? Here I am.
- What about Hector as a waiter?
- A waiter?
- Yeah, you know
- Oh, but I don’t know how.
- Oh, don’t worry.I will teach you!

- Hello! Howard! How are you?!! Oh, thank you Howard! Me? Dinner tonight! Seven o'clock – at the Singing Parrot Café, OK Howard! Bye Howard! That was Howard.
- No!
- He’s invited me to dinner tonight, because he wants to – talk to me about a NEW JOB!

- Who is Howard?
- Bridget’s boss.
- Ah, he is so rich, he’s so clever and he wants to see me!! He might offer me a promotion! What shall I wear? I have nothing to wear! No, wrong!
- Huh!
- So last season.
- Bet Howard can’t ride a motorbike.
- Nope!
- He does give Bridget promotion, although I have heard – Howard has a nickname!
- What was I thinking?!
- What?
- An octopus!
- An octopus?!
- Oh, the octopus!
- Is he meeting her alone?
- Yes. No, no! Bridget needs help!
- We must stop her!
- I have an idea. Why don’t you eat here?
- No!
- Yes, then we can both talk to your boss about your new job!
- Where, here? No, no way.
- I could cook for you!
- Huh! Definitely not, no!
- And I could be your waiter!
- Mmm.
- I want  to be your waiter.
- Yeah, OK then, but be serious!
- But don’t worry, we will help you get your promotion. Leave it to us!

- ‘Nadia. Hector wants a job.’
- I am going – to look for a job.
- ‘But it’s difficult. What can he do? He can’t work in a launderette and he can’t work as a gardener.’
- My plant!
- Hmm. ‘He can’t work as a cook, but then we saw the job for Hector, a waiter.’
- A waiter?
- Yeah you know. And Bridget’s boss, Howard wants to take her out to dinner tonight. I wonder why?’

- OK, Hector, you are the waiter, so you must set the table.
- Yes, I have set the table, but there is one problem.
- A problem?
- The table is too small.
- The table is too small?
- Yes, look.
- Hector, this is set for twelve courses!
- Dinner at home is always like this.
- Oh yes! You are a million…  You are a millionaire. This is just a little dinner for Bridget’s boss – OK?
- OK.
- OK. I am a customer!
- Where would you like to sit?
- Hmm. Here.
- Oh, I … … … The bill.
- Not yet! The menu first!
- Oh, sorry, erm … The menu.
- Forget the menu. What have you got today?
- To eat?
- To eat.
- Today, as dish of the day, I have a delicious hot cat.
- A hot cat?! That’s a hot dog.
- Ah! Hot cat, hot dog!… Cat, hot …
- Oh no!

- Oh, how’s it going?
- Great!
- Nick is a good teacher.
- Let’s see.
- Ah-ah, Hector’s café is now closed.
- Oh!!
- I’ll get it.
-Delivery, Miss Evans and Miss Taylor.
- Oh, Thank you! Bridget, look!
- Oh!
- ‘For lovely Annie from H.’
- For beautiful Bridget from H. Who’s H?
- Oh, it must be Howard! Oh, what is it!
- Oh, Bridget! Look, it’s Carina’s dress! But how did he guess?!
- Oh, he’s a clever man! Anyway, it’s not Carina’s dress now, it’s Bridget’s dress! Oh, thank you Howard!
- Oh Bridget, isn’t your boss kind! But, why did he buy me one?
- Oh, I’ve told him all about you!

- ‘Chrissy, Howard, my boss is coming to dinner!’
- Me, dinner, tonight! ‘He wants to talk to me about a new job. I’m so excited.’
- He’s so clever and he wants to see me! ‘He even sent me a dress!’
- Thank you Howard! Ah!

- His nickname is The Octopus.
- The octopus!
- Ugh! ‘Anyway -  Hector and I will prepare and serve a good dinner this evening.’
- We will help you get your promotion.

- Wow!
- OK, Nick?!
- Yeah. Hot. The soup, hot.
- Ah-ah-ah-ah. The soup is  hot.
- Thank you Hector.
- He’s here. Good evening Howard.
- Ah Bridget, my princess!
- Please come in.
- Bridget, you look divine. Oh, this must be Annie. Are you sisters? Such beauty!
- The dresses are exquisite!
- Oh
-  Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Don’t thank me, it’s a privilege!
- Oh and this of course is Nick.
- Hi.
- And this is Hector. He’s from Argentina.
- Hello.
- Argentina. Do you have a cow?
- Two million!
- What?
- My parents own two million cows.
- Ah yes, thank you Hector. Hector’s English is a little …
- Weird! Never mind, Hector.
- So Bridget, what a beautiful apartment, for a beautiful lady.

- Dinner is served!
- Hector, go on!
- Today, we have sick pea soup.
- Mmm, sick pea soup, my favourite!
- Chick pea, chick pea!
- Chick pea soup.
- This guy is great! Where did you find him?! Sick pea soup! Mind you, it does look like – ugh! Sorry Nick!
- Main course. Teeth casserole.
- Teeth casserole?
- Beef, beef.
- Oh sorry, beef casserole!
- I bet the beef is as hard as teeth!
- A dinner with bite! Oh! Sorry, Nick! So Bridget, you would like a better job?
- Well Howard, I, I …
- Are you willing to work harder,  hah?
- You stupid idiot!
- Sorry, erm … !
- And Bridget, with your good looks …
- What a creep!
- Ay! It’s cold! Hector! I want hot coffee!
- He wants hot coffee.
- Then he will have hot coffee!

- So – by the age of twenty I had fifty people working for me.
- Fascinating!

- My father said, if you want more money, you must work hard! Ay! You have poisoned me! You fool, you stupid boy!
- Stupid!
- Don’t you dare talk to my friend Hector like that!
- Oh, what is he? Is he your boyfriend or something?!
- He is – A kind and clever and lovely man, which is something that you will never, ever be! So you can keep your job, you creep!
- And we’ll send you back the dresses!
- What dresses?
- Oh, these dresses, the ones you bought Annie and me!
- I did not buy those dresses. I would not spend money on you! Hah!
- Goodbye Howard!
- You’ve lost your job!
- Well too late, I quit!!

- Howard said he did not buy the dresses. So who did?
- If ‘H’ isn’t for Howard?
- Then ‘H’ is for Hector!
- You, but why did you buy the dresses?
- To say thank you.
- But they’re so expensive. Where did you get the money?
- I… found it.
- Well, these expensive dresses must go back to the shop.
- Yes they must! But not until tomorrow.
- That’s right, let’s go clubbing! Come on, Nick! Hector!
- See you later, boys!

- Hector, you are a true, true friend. Money is not everything. So, what did you buy me?
- What do you think?
- I love you, I love you!
- Hmm! One moment.
- You didn’t buy me a bike, you didn’t buy me a bike, you didn’t buy me a bike. You didn’t buy me a bike.
- OK!
- Thanks, Hector. It’s really, really …
- It’s OK Nick.
- Hop on, I’ll give you a lift.
- Hey …
- Hey, so do you still want to be a waiter?
- No, I want to be like you, Nick, a stuntman!
- Aaah!!

Next time in EXTRA! Nick gets a job on TV. Annie loves watching TV. And why does Hector want to learn to cook? EXTRA – don’t miss it!

This is the story of two girls who share a flat in London. They have a visitor from Argentina who can't speak English very well, who has no style, and who can't do the shopping. But he is very, very handsome. Stand by for Extra.

Dear dream date. My name is Annie! I'm 19 and I love animals, and… and… and I love chocolate. Chocolate ice cream, chocolate cake, boxes of chocolate, chocolate mousse…
- What are you doing, Annie?
- Nothing!
- What's this? 'Dream date, make my dream come true!'
- Oh, how did that get there?
- How sweet!

Let's go. Look left. Right. One, two, three, four, left.
- Hector!
And right.
- Hector.
- Oh, hi, Bridget.
- And up…
- And up!
And up…and down…
- Oh, well, keep going, Hector.
- Oh, I see Hector found Cindy's 101 Top Exercises, then.
- Yes!
- Oh, good try, Hector.
- But Cindy is so old- fashioned, I can teach Hector how to exercise! Exercise with Cindy, no. Exercise with Bridget, yes!
- But…!
- It's OK, I can do it! Music, please, Annie. Follow me. Arms up, touch your toes, stand straight and… one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight! More energy, please! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight…

- OK, faster still! Left leg up! Left leg up!
- Left leg up!
- Oh, my leg hurts!
- Come on, keep up! Come on, faster! Come on! Come on! Faster!
- Oh, hi, Nick. We're exercising.
- I can see.
- Phew, OK. Let's get a drink!
- Oh, I must check my emails.
- Would you like some water, Hector?
- Oh, no, no. No, after you.
- No, you first.
- Oh, no, no, no. Ladies first.
- No, no, you first.
- No, you first.
- Oh, give it to me!

- Oh, goody! Three messages.
- Oh, dear.
- What's wrong?
- Annie's been on the Internet… again!
- The Internet?
- To find a boyfriend!
- Oh, let's see!
- Oh, no. Don't look.
- Oh, come on, Annie!
- Oh, all right, then.
- 'Annie baby! Rocky the tennis star here! I am the racket - will you be my ball?'
- OK, number two.
- Mmm. Erm… 'Dear Annie! I love animals too.' Mmm. 'They are so beautiful in their glass boxes.' 'Come and see them. Tony Green (Taxidermist).'
- A taxidermist! Ooh, how horrible!
- Oh, Charlie! Here, boy!
- It's OK, Charlie.
- Annie, what is a taxidermist?
- Erm, well, it's… It's a… Ah… Oh, never mind.
- Third time lucky.
- Hope so.
- Hmm. 'Annie, can you cook like my mother? 'Do you like trains? Can you meet me today? 'Giles Smith (aged 24) 'P.S. Mummy says I must be home before 5.00 pm.'
- Oh, dear!
- Oh! I'll never get a boyfriend! Bridget always has a boyfriend.
- Has she?

- Annie, look, it's not what you write, it's… it's how you write it.
- Huh?
- I bet I could get a girlfriend on the Internet, no problem.
- Well, yes, Nick, you could!
- I bet you could not!
- I could!
- OK… What would you write?
- I'm six foot tall.
- Five foot eleven.
- I have blonde hair.
- Mousy brown.
- I love animals.
- Ha!
- And fast cars, and beautiful women.
- I would write to you!
- Would you?
- Oh, come on, Annie!
- Let's go to the gym.
- Oh, Bridget, no! Not more exercise!
- See you later, boys.
- Oh, and err, Hector, would you do my washing for me?
- Washing? OK.  No problem.
- Oh, and Nick? Will you spray my plant for me, please?
- The spray is in the bathroom.
- No problem.

- Nick?
- Uh- huh?
- What is a taxidermist?
- Oh. Well… Well, it's… Never mind.

[emails]

- Finding girlfriends on the Internet is so easy. OK, Hector! Question one. How do guys get girlfriends?
- Girlfriends?
- Yeah! Girlfriends.
- Oh! Oh, no girlfriends, me. Never.
- What? Never? No girl…no girlfriends? Wow! Man!
- You, Nick, you have had girlfriends?
- Yeah, loads!
- Ten?
- Ten? Ha! Hundreds!
- Wow!
- So I know what girls like. They like fast cars, they like money, they like dancing.
- Oh, I love dancing! Like this!
- No, dancing like this! Huh? Yeah. Hector, leave it to me. Leave it to me, my friend, I have a plan! Oh, Hector, Annie's plant. Her garden spray is in the bathroom.
- Oh.
- Ho- ho!
- Garden…gar- den… Erm… Spray, garden spray. 'Garden Romance'. Garden… good! Hmm!
- Perfect!
- Perfect! Cold, hot… very hot. Er, Nick.
- Uh- huh?
- Bridget's cold or hot?
- Ha, very hot!
- Ah. Perfect!
- Perfect, ha!
- Hector, we'll get lots of girlfriends now!
- Aha!
- From now on it'll be girls, girls, girls, girls, girls!
- Ha- ha!
- Yo!
- Ha- hey!
- Whoo! Oh, you really must change your aftershave! At-shoo! Oh, excuse me. Come on, let's go out and celebrate. 

- What's that smell?
- It smells like a perfumery. Oh, my plant!
- Oh, empty!
- Oh, my poor plant! I don't believe it!
- My perfume, I don't believe it!
- Nick!
- Oh, good, the washing's done.
- What's the problem?
- This is the problem!
- Hector!
- Wow!
- What is it now?
- We have six hundred and thirty- three messages!
- Let's see.
- OK, one moment.
- 'Hector! Nick! Yes! We are gorgeous! 'Yes! We like dancing! And yes! We like millionaires! 'Fifi and Sara.' Chloe, Sadie, Louise, Gerri… These messages are all for Hector and Nick and they're all from girls!
- I smell a rat!
- Hmm! And I think I know who is responsible! Oh, Bridget! Look at this! 'Are you a gorgeous babe? 'Do you have a gorgeous friend? 'Do you like fast cars and dancing all night? 'Do you like millionaires? 'Then you will love us -'we are Hector and Nick -the Romero brothers.'
- What?
- 'See attached photo.'
- Ha, cheats, they glued their photo on this car!
- Oh, what a joke! What, that's how they received six hundred and thirty- three messages from girls.
- But they don't know they received six hundred and thirty- three messages, do they?
- No, they don't now.
- Let's go to the cybercafé. I have a plan.

- The poor computer. How many messages? One hundred!
- Two hundred!
- Oh.
- How many?
- Er, one.
- Good.
- One hundred!
- No, no, no, just one message.
- Huh?
- Erm… 'Hector and Nick! 'We are dancers in a West End musical.'
- Dancers, you mean… Dancers?
- Yeah, sort of.
- Erm… 'When we finish the show, shall we meet at your apartment at 10pm? 'Is that OK? 'Cuddles and Bubbles, kiss, kiss, kiss. 'P.S. What is your address?' Wow! They sound gorgeous!
- Uh?
- Er… Ah! Ta- da! Cuddles and Bubbles… are coming here tonight when they finish the show… at… ten o'clock! Look, seven o'clock, eight, nine, ten o'clock! Wait a minute! It's seven o'clock!  That's just three hours! What am I going to wear? What are you going to wear?
- But Nick, what about Bridget and Annie?
- Aha!  It's not a problem!
- Ah- ha- ha! Yes!

[emails]

- So, Nick, what should I say?
- It's easy. Relax.
- Yeah, but you have had a hundred girlfriends.
- Yeah, well, when I said a hundred, it's actually fewer.
- Er… fifty?
- No.
- Forty?
- No.
- Thirty?
- No.
- Twenty?
- No.
- Ten?
- No.
- Five?
- Four?
- Three?
- Two?
- One?
- None?
- Aaaah!

- OK.
- It's OK.
- Hi -- Hi!
- Hello, it's us.
- Come on up. Ooh!
- So Nick, what do I say?
- OK, we need a script.
- Try this.
- Your eyes are blue, like the ocean.
- Your ears are blue, like the ocean.
- No! Eyes, ears, ears, eyes.
- Oh, oh, oh, OK, OK. Er… Your eyes are blue, like the ocean.
- Good!
- You smell of sweet…
- You smell of sweat…
- No! No… Sweet…not sweat!
- Oh, OK, OK.
- OK, your hair is so soft.
- Thank you, Nick.
- No! No, her hair, her hair!
- Oh, her hair!
- Oh, oh!
- OK, OK.
- Ready?
- Ready.
- Good luck!

- Oh! Cuddles and Bubbles.
- But we thought you were dancers.
- Oh, you are dancers.
- Dancing…dogs! In…Woof, The Musical. Erm, come in. Come in.
- Uh, please, sit down. Sit!
- Stick to the script. You smell so sweet.
- Your ears are… blue, like the ocean.
- Psst. Eyes, eyes!
- Oh! Eyes!
- Are you a millionaire?
- Psst, psst! Am I a millionaire?
- Ha, ha, ha. Are you a millionaire? Are you a millionaire? We are millionaires!
- Good, good. Well, you can pay for these, then! If you please! Ha, ha, ha. Your faces! We are the dancers.
- From the cybercafé!
- So you are millionaires, eh?
- Oh, what a trick to get girlfriends! Millionaires, very funny!
- With fast cars!
- Good trick, eh?
- But that is my car!
- You smell so sweet!
- And you do have beautiful eyes! Or is it ears?

- It's the landlady!
- I'm off!
- Quick! Hide, Hector! Erm, er… In the bedroom!
- Er, Bridget?
- Yes.
- Tell me. What is a taxidermist?
- Oh!

Next time in Extra… Hector wants to get a job. Bridget and Annie have a surprise. And guess who's coming to dinner.

Episode One: Sams Ankunft

SASCHA: Das ist die Geschichte von Sascha und Anna. Sie wohnen zusammen in Berlin.
Sie haben einen Nachbarn: Nic.
Nic ist in Sascha verliebt.
Und Anna ist in Nic verliebt.
Aber dann bekommt Sascha Post aus Amerika ...

Jo, ich hab dir doch gesagt: – Es ist vorbei!!!
(Und nenn mich bitte nicht CHA CHA).

Hallo Jo.

Ja – das Kissen hab’ ich auch bekommen.
Aber es ist vorbei! Vorbei! Und jetzt heul bitte nicht!
Tschüs.
Männer!

ANNA: Louis komm schon. Sascha! Die Post! Louis und ich haben die Post!
Gib mir die Post Louis!

SASCHA: Gib mir sofort die Post Louis!

ANNA: Louis. Lass das fallen!

ANNA: Guter Hund!

ANNA: Telefonrechnung, Gasrechnung, Stromrechnung … Oh, was ist das?
Sascha, ein Brief für dich!

SASCHA: Ein Brief für mich.
Von meiner Mutter ...

SASCHA: Hey, was ist denn das?

ANNA: „Sascha Maus dieser Brief ist für dich. Hast du immer noch so viele Pickel?
Deine Mama.”

SASCHA: Danke. Der hier ist aus Amerika.

ANNA: Aus Amerika? Von wem denn? Na sag schon ...

SASCHA: Mmh … „Hallo! Kennst du mich noch?“
Nein ... „vor sieben Jahren Brieffreunde sind wir ...“

Vor sieben Jahren waren wir Brieffreunde.

Ach du liebe Zeit! ... Jetzt erinnere ich mich wieder.
Der Brief ist von Sam! Sam Scott!

ANNA: Wer ist Sam Scott?

SASCHA: Er war mein Brieffreund. Aber das ist sieben Jahre her.

ANNA: Oh …

SASCHA: „Ich gut spreche Deutsch jetzt…”
- Ich spreche jetzt gut Deutsch - „und ich komme nach Deutschland.”

ANNA: Ein Amerikaner…

SASCHA: „Ich möchte mit dir schlafen.”

ANNA: Waaaas!

SASCHA: „Hast du ein Bett für mich?”
Ach so – Er will hier übernachten …

ANNA: Ah die Tarantel!
Ein Amerikaner hier – wie Brad Pitt. Groß , sportlich ...

SASCHA: Und … reich?

ANNA: Wann kommt er denn?

SASCHA: Mmh ... hier steht ...am 7. Juli ...

ANNA: Aha – am 7. Juli...
aber das ist ja …

SASCHA: … heute!

BOTH: Ahhhh!

NIC: Hi.

SASCHA: Nic ...

ANNA: Hallo Nic! Wie geht’s dir?

NIC: Alles unter Kontrolle. Hey, du hast aber Muskeln!!!
Ich bring eure Milch zurück.

SASCHA: Was? Unsere Milch? Doch nicht etwa die Milch ... von vor drei Wochen?

NIC: Ich vergesse nie etwas!

ANNA: Danke Nic.

NIC: Na Ladies, was geht so ab?

ANNA: Möchtest du was trinken, Nic?

NIC: „Ja hallo?”

ANNA: Ich hab gefragt, ob du was trinken willst!!!

NIC: Ääh … ja … eine Cola?

ANNA: Sascha hat Post von Sam …

NIC: Ach ja?

ANNA: Ja, Sam – aus Amerika!

NIC: Ach ja, aus Amerika?
Wow, und ist sie cool?
ANNA: „Sie“ ist ein „Er“.

NIC: Wie?

ANNA: Na Mensch … Sam ist männlich!

NIC: Ach so … ein cooler Ami, ja? Huh!

SASCHA: Nic! Niemand darf mein Fahrrad anfassen! Kapiert?
Niemand!

NIC: Aber warum nicht?

SASCHA: Muss ich das begründen?

NIC: Hey, hey hey! Mach mal langsam.

SASCHA: Wer mein Fahrrad anfasst fliegt raus, kapiert, R-A-U-S.

SAM: Hi.

ANNA: Hallo.

SAM: Ich heiße Amerika. Ich komme aus Sam.

ANNA: Du meinst „Ich heiße Sam“.

ANNA: Nein – ich heiße Anna.

SAM: Aah, ich heiße Anna.

SAM: Nein. Was sie sagen will, ist „Ich heiße Sam und komme aus Amerika“.

SAM: Du kommst aus Amerika?

SASCHA: Hilfe, komm schon rein.

SAM: Hi Mom! I’m in Germany! And I introduced myself in German: My name is Sam, I live in America’ At least I think that’s what I said …

ANNA: Hallo Nadja,
Saschas Brieffreund ist heute angekommen. Der Typ ist komisch!
Und Nic von nebenan ist total witzig. Er hat unsere Milch zurückgebracht – die Milch von vor 3 Wochen!!

NIC: Ich vergesse nie etwas.

SASCHA: Schwesterherz,
Grrr! Nic, NIC HAT MEIN FAHRRAD ANGEFASST! Wie blöd! Und Sam Scott aus Amerika ist hier. Aber sein Deutsch ist katastrophal! Männer!

SAM: Ich heiße Amerika, ich komme aus Sam.
Anyway… Sascha and her flatmate were very impressed!

SAM: Ahh … Meine kleinen Autos.

SASCHA: Du spielst mit Autos?

SAM: Ja, du spielst (KORRIGIERT SICH) nein, nein, ich spiele mit Autos!

SASCHA: Der Typ spielt mit Autos!

SAM: Ich lese…
….Ich liebe die Bücherei …

SASCHA: Oh, wie interessant.

ANNA: Ja, wir gehen auch immer in die Bücherei, nicht wahr?

SASCHA: Aber klaaaar. Dort ist es sooooo toll.

SAM: Super!

SAM: Hier wohne ich.

SASCHA: Du wohnst in einem Museum!

SAM: OK. Ein Museum.
Ich wohne in einem Museum. Ich wohne in einem Museum.

SASCHA: Okay.

ANNA: Ich glaube, er arbeitet in einem Museum.

ANNA: Hey Sam, komm … Wir zeigen dir die Wohnung.

SAM: Super!

ANNA: Sam, wir zeigen dir die Wohnung!

SASCHA: Hier ist das Schlafzimmer.

SAM: Wow, danke.
Gutes Bett! So where do you sleep? Wo schlaft ihr?

SASCHA: Hey, nein ... hier gibt es nur ein Schlafzimmer.

SAM: Wie? Nur eins? Ich habe zweiundzwanzig …

ANNA: Zweiundzwanzig. Er hat zweiundzwanzig Zimmer?

SASCHA: Ich glaube er meint zwei Zimmer. Okay du kannst hier schlafen.

SAM: Okay.

ANNA: (LACHT) Nein, nicht so. Das ist eine Klapp-Couch.

SAM: Eine Klapp-Couch?

ANNA: Ja.

SAM: Wow, fantastic.

SASCHA: Und hier ist ein Kissen für dich …

SAM: Thanks.

ANNA: Und hier ist die Fernbedienung.

SAM: Danke.

SASCHA: Fühl dich wie zu Hause. Ich muss mal ins Bad.

SASCHA: Psst Anna! Ins Bad! Schnell!

SASCHA: Hilfe! Was machen wir mit ihm? Er spielt mit Spielzeug-Autos. Das gibt’s doch nicht!

ANNA: Und besonders sexy ist er auch nicht!

SAM: Room service.

ANNA: Aber er ist so süß …

SASCHA: Und er ist höflich …

BOTH: Aber seine Klamotten!

ANNA: Er ist so altmodisch!

SASCHA: Er muss hier raus!

NIC: Hallo.

SAM: Hi.

NIC: Wer bist du denn?

SAM: Du bist aber schnell! Gut! Mein ... Gepäck ... ist unten …

NIC: Was?

SAM: Bitte bringen ... Sie mir ... mein Gepäck.

NIC: Gepäck? Wie bitte? Was ist denn mit dir los?

SAM: Ich ziehe – du kommst. Du bist der Portier right?

NIC: Portier? Ich bin Nic. Ich wohne nebenan.

SAM: Oh I’m sorry man, I’m Sam.

NIC: … aus Amerika …

SAM: Jeah! Aus Amerika!

NIC: Ach so. Wo sind die Girls?

SAM: Die Girls?

NIC: Sascha und Anna.

SAM: Sascha und Anna wohnen hier.

NIC: Ja, das weiß ich. Aber wo ist Sascha?

SAM: Ah! Sascha ... hat mir ... hat mir das ... gegeben!

NIC: Ach so … Sascha hat dir das gegeben.

ANNA: Hallo Nic – das hier ist Sam Scott aus Amerika.

NIC: Mmh, ja ... Ich weiß.

SASCHA: Ist er nicht süüüüüß …

Hast du Hunger?

Wir kaufen dir was zu essen – was ist dein Lieblingsessen – Currywurst?

SAM: Currywurst, OK.

ANNA: Nic, Sam, ihr habt bestimmt viel Spaß miteinander!

SASCHA: Nic – du kannst ihm ja Deutschunterricht geben!

NIC: Deutschunterricht?Ja, ich werd’ ihm Deutsch-Unterricht geben …

SAM: And do you know what the German for ‘house’ is?
It’s ‘Museum’ Yeah! Good isn’t it!

NIC: Hallo Jo! Dieser Amerikaner - Sam - hat gedacht, ich wäre der Portier!!!

SAM: Bitte bringen Sie mir mein Gepäck.

NIC: Und Sascha hat ihm ein Herz-Kissen gegeben ... mmh ... Das muss ein Ende haben ...

ANNA: Nadja,stell dir vor:
Sam spielt mit Spielzeug-Autos!

SAM: Meine kleinen Autos.

ANNA: Er geht in die Bücherei und wohnt in einem Museum!
Wirklich! Hihi!

SAM: „Ich wohne in einem Museum ..."

NIC: Also pass auf. Das hier ist der Ofen.

SAM: Das hier ist der Ofen.

NIC: Annas Hund schläft im Ofen.

SAM: Annas Hund schläft im Ofen.

NIC: Sehr gut. Du sagst zu Anna: Anna – der Hund ist im Ofen.

SAM: Anna – der Hund ist im Ofen.

NIC: Sehr gut, sehr gut. Und Sascha ...

SAM: Ja?

NIC: Keine Chance.

SAM: What?

NIC: Sascha steht auf starke Männer mit starken Beinen.

SAM: Stark, ich bin stark.

NIC: Ach ja? Kannst du 50 Kilometer auf dem Fahrrad fahren?

SAM: Yeah!

NIC: Niemals! Das will ich sehen.

SAM: Pass auf!

SASCHA: Also was meinst du– rot oder blau?

ANNA: Blau, blau finde ich besser.

SASCHA: Findest du?

ANNA: Ja.

SAM: Hey, Anna, Sascha. Viel shopping?

ANNA: Ähh, ja klar, Sam … Wir haben viel eingekauft.

SAM: Ah Sascha! Schau mal – 50 Kilometer!

SAM: Anna – der Hund ist im Ofen!

ANNA: Waaas?

NIC: Hi! Alles in Ordnung?

SAM: Super!

SAM: Ufff! Jetzt bin ich ... jetzt ich bin.

SASCHA: … tot …

SAM: Ich bin heiß.

NIC: Nein. Nein. Du meinst: Mir ist heiß.
Sam, du solltest duschen gehen.

SAM: Ahh – duschen. Mir ist heiß. Ich gehe duschen. Excuse me.

SASCHA: Das war’s! Der Typ fliegt raus!

NIC: Aber wieso? Er ist doch so nett ...

SASCHA: Er – ist – mit meinem Fahrrad – gefahren!

NIC: Huuuh!

ANNA: Und er hat gesagt: „Der Hund ist im Ofen”. So ein blöder Witz.
Louis? Wo ist Louis? Louis?

NIC: So ein böser Junge!

SASCHA: Der Typ fliegt raus!

ANNA: Kann er bei dir wohnen, Nic?

NIC: ah. Sorry, Ladies. Das geht wirklich nicht.

ANNA: Du hast doch ein freies Zimmer! Bitte.

NIC: Auf keinen Fall! Der Typ ist nicht mein Problem.

SASCHA: Er fliegt raus – und zwar sofort!

ANNA: Aber er duscht gerade!

SASCHA: Das ist mir egal …

SASCHA: Sam! Komm sofort raus.

SAM: Was?

SASCHA: Wir müssen mit dir sprechen!

SAM: Okay. Komme sofort.

SAM: Sorry – you wanted me?

SASCHA: Sag’s du ihm doch Anna.

NIC: … na komm schon … sag’s ihm …

SAM: Ja Sascha?

SASCHA: … weißt du ... Sam … es ist so … also Sam ... ahh es ist so.

NIC: Alles klar! Ich mach das schon. Ähh – Sam kann ich mal mit dir sprechen?

SAM: Sure.

ANNA, SASCHA: Brad Pitt!

NIC: Sam, bist du das?

SAM: Mmh…ja… mit meinen Eltern…

NIC: „Familie Scott – eine der reichsten Familien Amerikas.“

NIC: Aaa… Und wer ist das?

SAM: Meine …

NIC: … deine Dienstboten?

SAM: Mmh – Ja meine Dienstboten.

NIC: Deine Autos?

SAM: Ja, meine Autos …

NIC: Mensch Sam … Du bist total reich … Warum willst du dann hier wohnen?

SAM: Ich will real ... richtige ... Freunde …

NIC: Die Leute mögen dich nur, weil du reich bist?

SAM: Ja.

NIC: Mensch das ist ja schrecklich! Kein Wort zu den Mädchen! Pssst. Verstehst du?

SAM: Okay. Psst … don’t tell the girls.

SASCHA: Vielleicht … vielleicht sollte er doch hier wohnen?

ANNA: Oh ja, der arme kleine Amerikaner!

NIC: Hey Sam! Du kannst bei mir wohnen. Ich habe zwei Betten.

SASCHA: Halt die Klappe Nic!

ANNA: Sam bleibt hier bei uns. Nicht wahr Sam?

SASCHA: Sam … komm hier setz dich zu mir.

SASCHA: Sam – du kannst mich Cha Cha nennen. Alle meine Freunde nennen mich Cha Cha.

ANNA: Louis! Da bist du ja!

SAM: Ah! Der Hund ist im ... Ofen.

ANNA: Im Ofen?

SAM: Ja – Nic ist ein ... guter Lehrer. Ich ... lerne viel Deutsch.

SAM: Ah, Nic ist ein sehr guter Lehrer.

NIC: Annas Hund schläft im Ofen.

ANNA: Was!

SASCHA: Hey Leute! Was sitzen wir herum? Heute ist die Love Parade.

SAM: Love Parade?

SASCHA: Party!
Mein Make-up ...

SAM: Ich muss schnell Room Service.

SASCHA: Hat jemand meine neue Zeitschrift gesehen?

NIC: Keine Ahnung.

ANNA: Ich geh schon.
Ja hallo?

ANNA: Oh nein …
Ja, kommen Sie bitte hoch.

Hilfe, es ist die Vermieterin!

NIC: Was? Die Tarantel?

SASCHA: Schnell Sam! Versteck dich!

NIC: Ich muss los!

SASCHA: Nein ins Schlafzimmer.

NIC: Ahh ... die Miete.

SAM: I’m going to love it here Mom.
The Germans are just so friendly.

Nächstes Mal in Extra ...
Unsere Freunde gehen für Sam einkaufen
Sam geht für die Mädchen einkaufen
Und Sam geht selber einkaufen
Das dürft ihr nicht verpassen!